Canadian weather

It's the beginning of February and it's cold. Like, really cold. For the last three weeks it's been between -5 and -30 every day. There was one day where it was 8ºC and a couple of others that were 0ºC or maybe up to 3ºC. But there was also one week straight of below -20ºC. That was harsh. Like, really harsh.

It got me thinking about how nice it would be to live in Australia or some other warm country that is English. I've been to Australia and absolutely loved it. In fact, I've been to many places on the planet like England, Scotland, Spain, Greece, Holland, Poland, Whales, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Cambodia, New Zealand, Raratonga, and a few major cities in the U.S. I liked Australia the best! I actually drove across Canada from Vancouver to Montreal and not one stranger actually said hi to me. When I was in Australia I rented a camper van with my boyfriend for three weeks and we drove from Brisbane to Cairns. We were greeted by strangers on a daily basis. It was kind of surreal.

I started thinking about what the differences are between Canada and Australia. I know what some of the differences are in a more superficial way. I know that Australia (or at least Queensland) has amazing beaches, wonderful forests, friendly people, amazing wildlife (I couldn't believe the beautiful songs I heard from birds) wide open spaces, a vast land that felt really natural without being overcrowded by people. Canada has many of those qualities as well, beautiful coastlines (though with water mostly too cold to swim in) wonderful forests and an abundance of wildlife (though not as visible as in Australia - no kangaroos or wallabys wandering around in campgrounds!).

I would love to just live in Australia to find out what the more subtle differences are. I know for sure that the weather is better there. I have Perth listed as one of the cities on my igoogle weather widget. Though right now they are having summer so perhaps it's not a fair comparison, I researched it a bit and the coldest it seems to get is 5ºC as an overnight low in winter. But daytime highs in winter are 18ºC! Wow, I would love to be able to walk outside in winter and it's a sunny 18ºC!

One thing about Canada, is that as far as weather goes, it doesn't change much where ever you live. Most of the population lives within 100 km of U.S border, so we are all pretty much on the same latitude.  Therefore, it's just different kinds of cold. Vancouver is considered the mildest climate in Canada, but when it's 5ºC and raining it doesn't really feel much different from -5º and sunny. Basically, it's cold. There's cold and there's freezing. Montreal is freezing in winter. It's often quite sunny which is nice, but when it's -20ºC it's still rather unpleasant. It doesn't inspire you to want to go out for a nice walk, that's for sure. At least in the States you can choose your climate. You can live in New England where you can have four seasons, including snowy winters. Or you can live in Arizona where it's like a hot desert landscape. Or anywhere in the south where it's hot year round. In Canada it's just cold, colder and coldest. Many parts of this country are pretty much uninhabitable.  There are parts of the great white north that are largely barren unpopulated tundra. There are areas where there are small villages, but winters up there are horrendous! Six months of the year you don't see sun! Can you imagine six months of darkness? Yes, that also means you get six months of sun and no night, but it's still cold. In some parts a hot day in July means it's 10ºC. I couldn't live there. I have always lived in a cold climate and I've never gotten used to it.

I find it sad that every year I dread winter. I don't particularly enjoy winter sports. They all seem to involve risk of getting injured. Except maybe snowshoeing. I prefer summer activities. I love biking, walking, swimming, kayaking, snorkeling and camping. Every Fall I feel the dread kick in. First off because when I was younger Fall meant going back to school. It meant the end of summer which always felt like it was a bright, full of flowers and friends, fun, free, outdoors time. Fall meant going back to the boring prison. Soon after it would be winter, which as a kid I must admit I didn't mind. I liked playing in the snow, making snow angels, sliding down hills, skating, making snow forts and snowmen. But as a teenager it was hell. I had to be cool, so felt I couldn't wear a hat. I just remember always being cold. I used to have to go outside and walk my dog and hated it. I would just walk him outside my apartment building and then bring him in when he was done his business. I hated walking outside and did not do any outdoor activities at all. The only time I spent outside was walking and waiting at bus stops or standing outside to smoke a cigarette. Or walking to the store because I didn't drive.

As an adult, my time outside is even less. Now it's just from my front door to my car! I have tried to learn how to snowboard, but it's been very difficult and I have not had much success at all. Being outside means getting cold and wet.

Basically the weather here sucks. January - March is freezing. March and April are unpredictable. One year it might be mild with temperatures from 5ºC to 17ºC. Another year it might be snowy until mid April with temperatures between -5ºC to 10ºC. May and June are also unpredictable. One year it might be 20ºC to 30ºC almost every day for two months. Another year it might be 15ºC to 25ºC. July and August are usually the two months where you can almost guarantee hot temperatures ranging from 25ºC to 32ºC. Though August can be a bit of a wild card and temperatures can go down to low twenties. September tends to stay warm until the middle of the month, usually around 20ºC. Then late September goes down to the mid to high teens. October to December are also unpredictable, though you know for sure that every week it will probably get a little bit colder on average. Temperatures are usually between 10ºC and 0ºC. You can expect to get some snow anytime after Halloween. Though it can snow in October, it just won't normally stay for any length of time.

It's during these very cold months that I dream of living in a warm climate. I wish the planet wasn't so rigid about who can live where. If you are born somewhere, it's often difficult to just go and live and work somewhere else.

For now I'd settle for a warm vacation somewhere. It's been cold with lot's of snow on the ground for eight weeks now, and I feel like I've had enough!

My cat has the Feline Leukemia Virus

We found out in the beginning of December that our beloved cat, Gayden, has the Feline Leukemia Virus. He wasn't himself for a few days and I knew something was wrong. He will often greet me in the morning when I wake up, he will often greet me when I get out of the shower so that he can lick my toes, he always greets me when I get home - even if I've only been gone for a few minutes! Most importantly, he showed absolutely no enthusiasm for his food. I came to a horrifying realization that he probably hadn't been finishing his meals for weeks if not longer. We have never had to watch him eat as he has always inhaled his food in record time and then moves on to finish his brothers food. His brother Calvin can be a bit of a push over and will just walk away from his food as soon as Gayden comes. Well, I realized that the tables had turned and now it was Gayden that was leaving food that Calvin was finishing.

Back in March of last year poor Gayden went through the awful experience of having crystals and once he got better the vet suggested he go on a prescription diet. So we put him on W/D which is a low fat food to help with weight loss. Gayden was a bit chubby at 13 pounds. Well, he got a little too skinny in my opinion so I increased how much food he was eating. We were going through over 3 cans a day (at over $2 a can!). I did find it a bit weird that Gayden kept losing weight and Calvin kept gaining weight but I think I was more focused on his emotional health.

Gayden had been a real mess since his ordeal with crystals. He was incredibly anxious, would pace back and forth from one side of the house to the other. Just look out the windows, flap his tail about aggressively and then walk back. He had stopped lying on me, and would only stay for a bit and then jump down and pace again. His tail was constantly flailing around and worse than that, his poor tail hardly ever went straight up. A straight up tail is the equivalent to a cat smile, in my opinion. At night we had an evening ritual where he would jump into the bathtub and we would pet him. Then after March, he stopped doing this.

He wasn't very interested in playing anything, at least not for long. Sometimes I would take him out for a walk and he seemed to really enjoy that, but then when we'd come back in he would be restless again. At night when we'd go to bed he developed a new disturbing ritual. He'd howl at the top of his lungs! So we'd call out to him and then he'd come upstairs to see us, let us pet him for a second and then he'd run back downstairs and the whole process would be repeated at least five or ten times.

He also started spraying things! The first thing I noticed was the couch in the basement. I slept down there one night and kept thinking I smelled urine. Well, in the morning I sniffed around and sure enough, many of the pillows stank. I went through an extensive process to get it all clean and would not leave him downstairs unsupervised after that. It became an obsession actually, I would feel bad locking him upstairs while we went downstairs to watch t.v. So I'd let him down and he'd go over to the couch and spray. So then I'd have to clean it all over again. Eventually when I let him down I'd just stalk him and wouldn't even sit down so he never got the opportunity to spray again. He also sprayed numerous other things, not regularly - thank goodness! But often enough that I was worried that he'd developed a serious anxiety problem!

He also started trying to hump me all the time. Every time I'd talk to him and pet him he'd get excited and then start trying to hump me. It was slightly flattering, in a sick kind of way, to know that my little buddy loved me so much that he wanted to get it on with me. But it really wasn't a behaviour I was willing to allow, so sadly I had to pick him up and put him on the floor each time he did it, which was at least five times a day. He still does this, in fact, and it doesn't look like it's going to stop.

He also continued to eat his food at a pathetically slow pace. I realize now that he actually needs variety and hates to eat the same flavours day after day.

But in early December I knew something was up when he spent 3 days just sleeping and hardly getting up to do anything! My boyfriend said that he thought he was probably just under the weather, but I wasn't convinced. So I took him to the vet without consulting him first. They took some blood tests and then we had to wait. When I got home, my boyfriend was not at all thrilled at the $300 vet bill! I got the vet to also do a urine analysis on Gayden, just in case.

It turned out that he had non-regenerative anemia. This means that his body was not producing any red blood cells, so there wasn't enough oxygen going through his body which left him with no energy and no appetite. They told us that normally it's a symptom of a much more serious condition. They recommended that we test him for FeLV (Feline Leukemia Virus) and FIV (Feline Immunodeficiency Virus). We weren't sure what we wanted to do, we were so taken aback and also felt like we had no idea what any of it meant. They gave him an injection that somehow gets red blood cells in the body. Then we took him home. I spent the next day or two researching everything I could about anemia and it's causes.

I know that the internet can be a bad place when you start researching symptoms and you can end up thinking the worst. Well, in this case that did prove to be the case. However, I was desperate to find some hope! I was so hopeful that maybe he'd have something different that could cause it that was treatable or curable. But hour after hour I just kept seeing the same basic message. It's usually a sign of kidney trouble (which he didn't have), hypo (or hyper) thyroidism - one of those two (which the vet said was unlikely for a four year old), trauma based (nope), parasite based (nope), nutrition deficiency (highly unlikely as he was on W/D) but we didn't rule that out as we were worried about how long Calvin had been eating his food. Or the Feline Leukemia Virus. No matter how hard I tried to be positive and hopeful, it really didn't seem at all likely that it was just nothing and he'd be fine.

So we decided to go ahead and have him tested for the virus as well as for FIV. As you can imagine I was absolutely devastated to find out he tested positive for the Leukemia Virus. Our cats are indoor cats, the only time they go outside is supervised and usually on leashes! We got him when he was a kitten, about four months old. As he was just left in a box on a neighbours porch we never found out about his background. I didn't even know that there was such a thing as FeLV. If I had, I would have had him vaccinated against it regardless of the fact that he's an indoor cat. We leave our cats at a friends house when we go away and she has five cats that haven't been vaccinated against it either and one of them was a stray. So there is a possibility that he got it from one of her cats, who might be a carrier but hasn't yet shown any symptoms. Or he might have been born with it. Or he might have picked it up from our back patio area as there are cats that come and spray our patio furniture in warmer months and we take our cats our there and they sniff the wet spots. There isn't any scientific proof of exactly how long the virus can survive outside yet, so it can't be ruled out completely.

In any case, it's rather irrelevant as I can't change the fact that he has the virus. I can't change the fact it's a terminal illness, and that at some point I'm going to lose him.

He's had two hormone injections called Darbopoetin which create red blood cells and we've been so blessed, because he has responded amazingly well to it! There were a few scenarios I was hoping for initially. One, that he didn't have the virus and that what he had was minor. Two, that if he was going to die soon that it be as painless as possible for my little beauty. Lastly, that I could have more time with him.

I've been handed the third option. More time with my beauty. And what a time it's been! We were so incredibly lucky to have him with us for Christmas! He gained back his appetite, he gained weight, and he had lot's of energy! We changed his diet, I don't care about weight loss at this point! I don't mind having a slightly chubby but happy and active cat! He really hates all prescription diets we've tried, except for A/D - anorexic diet - which is an incredibly palatable food for cats without an appetite. However, it's also a really rich food and a cat could end up quite fat if kept on it long term. I don't want Gayden to end up obese as that would just be an extra burden on his system. But at the same time, I can't be putting him on any more weight loss diets. Not at this point in his life. So he's on Wellness, which has loads of flavours and he seems to enjoy them all! We had him on EVO, which is cheaper but still very good quality and he enjoyed it at first, but seemed to grow a bit tired it and it only has one or two flavours. So he now eats the most expensive food in the store! We also give him either Taste of the Wild dry or T/D.  He also gets an amino acid supplement every 12 hours.

I was adamantly opposed to him eating any dry food at all after the crystals. I read everything I could find on the subject and it seemed that most people believed that dry food was bad for the condition. However, after all my research I'm not so sure anymore. The dry foods often have sodium in them which causes the cat to drink more water. I do believe that a cat should eat a species appropriate diet, but as an animal in captivity this does end up being very difficult. No one wants to feed their indoor cats live mice! Raw diets can be great, but they are still new to the main stream so therefore it's hard to get concrete facts and recipes. There is a wealth of information out there on it, but it worries me that most vets are not on board with it. Anyway, for now I'm staying away from raw but am not opposed to the idea.

I feed him about 80% wet and 20% or less dry. So I believe that at that ratio he's getting more than enough moisture in his diet. He enjoys crunching on the food and at this point, it's his quality of life I'm looking at.

Gayden is back to being his old self, the little guy we had before he had crystals. He is really perky, he walks around with his tail up if I talk to him. He enjoys attention and affection. I let him outside in the snow for some fresh air, but he comes back in quickly as it's currently -20 ºC outside. I bought him a bunch of new toys and he seems to enjoy all of them! Especially a wand toy with a little insect thing attached. He went crazy for it, chased it around with such force it was like he was a kitten again! I didn't let it go on too long, as he has a heart murmur! But we play a lot of hide and seek with it, and I throw his favourite mice around for him which he loves. He doesn't sleep all day, and is active at the usual times. He greets me all the time, follows me around the house, gets involved with anything going on in the house, however small. He doesn't like to miss out on anything.

He's a really special cat, and I love him so much. Right now I'm really just trying to enjoy him day by day. Every day I know that this could be the last day that I get to enjoy him before he gets sick. From what I've read, it's not the Leukemia Virus that will kill him, it's the fact that it destroys his immune system so he becomes vulnerable to other things. So we're kind of in for a hard time ahead and I'm not looking forward to that. Which is why it is so important to just enjoy today. Today he's in in a good mood, energetic, perky, friendly and healthy. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, so I'm not going to live there, I need to live now - right where he is - and enjoy him as much as I can! As I write this he is lying at the end of my chair against my legs. One of his favourite spots.

Pet shops should be banned

Will I ever live to see the day when animals have rights? It actually horrifies me going into a pet shop and I'm surprised that they are legal. Perhaps I'm simply too sensitive, and have unrealistic expectations on how living creatures should be treated.

Seeing birds in cages breaks my heart. Imagine if you had wings that you could never use? Imagine living in a cage for your whole life? I don't think that people see animals as anything more than  animated colourful objects to add to their homes.

I know that many people love animals and keep them in their homes because it brings them joy and that they do take care of them. However, I still can't believe in my heart that any bird could ever be happy living in a cage when it is denied the ability to fly. When I was four years old my mom had a budgie and I hated seeing it in it's cage. I felt that it communicated to me that it wished to be released. So I opened the cage and it flew away. Sadly it went out the window and was never seen again, which is really quite cruel as it wouldn't have had a chance to ever survive outside. Especially not in the winter.

But I digress. I honestly believe that pet shops should not sell live animals. Imagine if you could go to the store and buy a person? Oh, there would be outrage! Imagine seeing a baby in a glass cage with a metal floor and it was banging on the wall screaming for some attention! This would never happen in the Western world. Why not? What is so different from a human and an animal?

What makes us God? What gives us the right to abduct innocent animals from the wild and place them in cages? What gives us the right to abuse them, torture them, eat them, experiment on them, buy them, sell them, and throw them away when we don't want them anymore?

How are so many people unable to have compassion for animals? I suppose given how we treat each other it isn't surprising that we treat animals the way we do. But we do set a basic standard for human rights and we have organizations to help people such as the United Nations and Amnesty International. There are many organizations that aim to protect animals, but ultimately most people eat animals so until that changes people probably aren't going to be able to see animals as being equal to us.

Animals should be allowed to live a natural and normal life without us killing them. There should be ways to test medications without killing and torturing animals, isn't that a bit primitive in this day and age? There has been a lot of research that shown that many animals that are tested on will not respond to drugs the same way as humans (duh, we're not the same species!) which could cause delays in cures. How is it that we can't have computers doing the testing? Then in final stages test on volunteers.

Most people live in a bubble and are completely unaware of the gross and disgusting way animals are treated across the planet.

You like to wear fur? Did you know that the animals are often abducted from their wild and natural home, and then while they are still alive they get to have an electric probe shoved up their ass so that they are electrocuted from the inside out. Apparently this preserves the fur. Would you ever do that to your baby? To your mother? To your house cat or dog? Then why would you ever wear fur? I can't believe it's legal.

You like to eat meat? Love to eat chicken? Wow, if only you knew how these beautiful creatures are treated!!! Baby chicks are thrown into the garbage if they are male because they can't lay eggs, so are therefore worthless.

Have a look at the  PETA website if you have balls http://www.peta.org/issues/animals-used-for-food/chickens.aspx. If you eat animals, then you are a cruel abuser. Only instead of doing the damage yourself you are paying people to do it for you. That makes you no better or worse than an assassin. Only instead of just putting a bullet into the back of someones head, you condone allowing the creature to be brutally treated for its entire life and then finally at the end of it's miserable life, murdered.

Buying pets from the pet store is also cruel. You are now supporting puppy mills where dogs are imprisoned in a cage for their whole life and their only purpose is to breed. There are so many dirty and overcrowded mills that there is no way to know where your new little puppy has come from. The SPCA work really hard to save animals and we owe it to society to support them and to buy animals form them instead.

Oh, but you mean you can't get a pure bred? Too fucking bad! Do you only hang out with pure bred humans? Someone that you can trace their genetic history for centuries to prove that they are 100% German, or whatever? That would be racist.  Well so is rejecting a beautiful animal waiting to be loved just because he or she doesn't have the right genetic make up. We love people of all colours shapes and sizes and we should do the same for animals. Worst of all, pure bred animals often have genetic defects and are more apt to develop debilitating illnesses when they are older.

Seeing cute little bunny rabbits at the store makes me sick! Do you know how many people abandon their bunnies once they aren't so cute and little anymore and are chewing on their furniture? The average time a person will keep a rabbit is about year, after that they get dumped at the SPCA. They aren't pets for kids contrary to what most people believe. http://www.rabbit.org/easter/ . Do your research!

What makes me more angry and sick than pet stores is seeing lobsters at the supermarket!!!!!!!!!! How anyone can walk past and not feel like they are about to burst into tears is beyond me. I see them in the tank, and know how cold that water is, and see their poor little claws held shut with rubber bands, and how they are all piled on top of each other like they don't even matter at all! Each and every lobster has a right to live! People buy them, and then toss them into a pot of boiling water WHEN THEY ARE STILL ALIVE!!!! How would you like to see your best friend or your mother tossed into a pot of boiling water while they are still alive! Why can't we see the cruelty in that?

My cat has crystals

My beautiful and amazing feline companion has crystals. I've feared the illness since we got him, and prayed he'd never get it.

I changed his diet about a month ago to something called California Natural. It had a lot of the same ingredients as the Science Diet Natures Best we were feeding him before. The first ingredient was chicken, and it looked to be a good food. I should have done the research, not that it probably would have made a difference as I did read a bit about the food after we bought it and I couldn't find anything negative about it.

I also stopped giving the cats wet food for about two weeks as I had run out and was too lazy to get more. So really, I'm pretty sure that this illness could have been avoided and I feel pretty guilty. On top of that, I have been neglecting the cat litter for the last few months. We have two cats and two litter boxes and I have only been emptying them once a week.

My other cat seems fine, and I am now cleaning the litter box every day making sure that he is peeing as I am now paranoid.

My wonderful cat friend Gayden has now been at the vet for a week with a blockage. They had to hook him up to an I.V and had a catheter in him for a few days. He is peeing on his own now which is good, but he has great difficulty doing it, it takes him ages to get even a squirt out and he does not do nice long streams.

So therefore he can't come home, as he is really not better yet. The whole thing has been an absolute nightmare, for the cat and for us. I was so sick with worry that I couldn't eat and started losing weight. But worse, seeing what my little fur friend has to go through breaks my heart.

He spends most of his waking hours shifting from his bed to his litter. Yesterday he just peed wherever as I guess the feeling of needing to go pee doesn't go away and nothing was happening in the litter so he just stood in his bed instead. So so sad. He's normally so clean and would never pee outside his box at home.

I can tell he's really frustrated at his situation. The first few days he was calm and affectionate, but you could tell he had discomfort. Now he's still friendly but when we visit him he spends the whole time either eating (we hold the bowl to his face as it's hard for him to eat wearing that protective plastic hood) and peeing in the litter (or rather, squirting small amounts).

He should be a lot further along in his recovery and sadly it's just taking a long time. I really hope that it isn't an infection!

It's also proving to be extremely expensive. The initial treatment for the first couple of days was estimated at approx. $2000. Then after that, it was going to be $250 a day. So as of today we're at about $3500. The vet said last night that he's going to need a few more days and maybe as long as another week! That would bring the total to over $5000.

As I said, it's been an absolute nightmare.

I really really miss him so much! The house feels so different without him here. I have another cat, Calvin, who's the same age as Gayden but he's not quite as friendly or spunky. We actually got him as a companion for Gayden as he was so demanding and needy we thought a friend would help.

When we first got Gayden, he was a few months old. My mom's neighbour found him in a cardboard box on her back porch. She was the neighbourhood cat lady and had about 15 of her own. She had a huge heart when it came to animals (and people too) and she would never turn an animal away. She used to even take in strays and get them treated at vets and then re-home them. She called my mom up one day and told her that she had a little kitten that I might want.

To be honest, I really didn't want any pets! I had a dog for 13 years when I was younger, we got him when I was nine years old and when he died it was the most devastating thing I had ever had to deal with. I cried every day for three months, and to this day 13 years later I can STILL cry about it! I didn't cry that hard or for that long when my grand mother died. So I was pretty reluctant to go through that again, as I get overly attached to my animals.

I was also enjoying my life without pet fur. For all of my teen years black clothes always looked terrible on me because they would be covered in fur. I liked that my house stayed cleaner longer and that there wasn't any fur anywhere. Plus, I hate cat litter. I find it really gross having to clean it.

My boyfriend wanted cats. He said that he really missed having cats and couldn't understand why I didn't want any. When I told him about my reasons he said that he'd clean the litter. Famous last words.

We went over to visit the kitten and when I saw my boyfriends face as he held the kitten in his hand, I knew we were going to get it. We didn't even need to talk about it, it was so natural that he'd come home with us. Love at first sight I guess. We went to the pet store and got all the supplies we needed and then took him home with us.

The first thing we noticed about this cat was that he had an insane amount of energy! I had never had a kitten before, so this was all new to me! He would run around and around chasing whatever we provided for him until he would start panting and then just collapse from exhaustion! I actually thought he might just drop dead, as I had never seen a cat pant before!

He became quite attached to us quickly and soon he was following me everywhere. Like, I'd go to the bathroom upstairs and he'd follow me. I'd go back downstairs, he'd follow me. Wherever I went, if I stood still long enough, he'd be there right beside me.

Most people just think of cats as animate objects. Cute, cuddly, decorative pieces of home decor that you can interact with. They are, however family members!

Gayden has the most adorable little habits that entertain me, fill me with love and at times annoy me. He faithfully greets me at the door every time I come home from where ever I've gone, even if it's only a few minutes. Sometimes he's not at the door when I get home, because he's somewhere in the house sleeping, but within a few seconds he'll appear looking a bit disheveled like he just woke up.

He still follows me around the house a lot. Whenever I have a shower he runs upstairs to see me, and when I get out he likes to lick my toes and rub his body against my legs. When my boyfriend gets home from work he gets very excited and jumps up on the dining room table to get a rub on his back. He loves his rubs. At night he has a good night ritual where he runs upstairs when we are getting ready for bed and he jumps into the bath tub. This is because one time when we got back from a long vacation he was shedding a lot of fur so I got him in tub and gave him a crazy rub down to get rid of the excess fur. Well, he absolutely loved it! He was purring like crazy and ever since he waits expectantly in the tub for more rubs.

He also got very interested in a plastic syringe I had to use for my teeth, it squirts water and he very much wanted to play with it. I would squirt water in the tub and he would try to catch the water streams, then try to swat the syringe out of my hand!

We got him to ride a skate board. He just simply got on it and it moved and he stayed. It's pretty adorable. Then we slide him back and forth across the room and he just lies on the board looking down at the wheels as if trying to figure out how it all works.

If he was a person, he would definitely be a scientist. He loves to learn things and figure things out. He is the most incredibly patient being I think I've ever met. I give up easily and get frustrated. As does the other cat, Calvin. Provide Gayden with some sort of mystery to solve, something he needs to open, and his eyes light up and he gets to work. He takes little breaks and attacks the problem from many different angles. He thinks outside the box.

We had a squirrel in the house once, well in the walls that is. I couldn't figure out where it was but I was sure it was above the kitchen ceiling. Gayden knew exactly where the squirrel was. He sat in the bathtub and stared at the faucet. I thought he was being weird, I couldn't figure out why he was doing that, thought he'd got it all wrong in his head about what was going on. As it turned out, there was a large amount of space under the tub, almost the size of a small room and that was where the squirrel was.

Gayden opens the kitchen cupboards, which is both adorable and frustrating. He simply stands on his hind legs, puts his paws on the handles and leans back. It's pretty crazy. So we had to make "locks" out of coat hangers to keep him out. He's like a magnet for any cupboard that's open. Whenever open my bedroom closet he's there. Especially if I am trying to figure out what to wear, he'll use the opportunity to try and go inside.

He also walks on a leash. Not very well, I must say. He used to, when he was about six months old. We used to run around outside and he'd run with us. Then we got the other cat, and leash trained him and since then for some reason when we go outside with him on a leash he just likes to sit there. However, if we take the leash off he runs off at full speed. Very sneaky. Though he's pretty predictable about where he'll run to so he's pretty easy to catch.

One of the strange things about this cat is how bad he is at jumping. He's a bit chubby, but not to the point where you would think he would have trouble moving. However, he really has trouble jumping to high places. Calvin is like a gymnast, he moves with such grace and ease. Gayden is super clumsy and just sort of flops around.

He has such a huge person(cat)ality. Sometimes he just lies on his back on the floor stretched out. He knows that I make a big fuss over how cute he is when he does it. He usually does it when he's beside himself with boredom, which is about every day.

That's part of the problem. They are indoor cats, and it's really hard to keep them happy and busy. Let's face it, they are prisoners and sometimes I let them go outside supervised for a few minutes, but then it's back into the house. They really don't get a lot of exercise. Calvin is quite good about only eating what he needs for fuel and then doing some sprints throughout the day. Gayden on the other hand would just lie there and eat all day if you let him. He just really likes food. It takes his mind off of how bored he really is.

I feel like I've let him down, and not been the best owner I could possibly be. I let my cat get chubby, I've ignored him when he's been bored even though I have owed it to them to try and make their lives more enjoyable. Now the poor little guy is sitting in a cage hooked up to an I.V unable to urinate properly and just squirting all over the place. Today is the 10th day in that cage. I miss him so much.

Melaleuca - Review of products

So I've now received two shipments of Melaleuca supplies. First package consisted of cleaning products. Second shipment consisted of body washes, lotions, tooth paste, mouth wash, hand sanitizers, lip balms, shampoo and conditioner. I also got a candle warmer for a Christmas gift. Total cost for cleaning pack was $162. Total cost for second package was $166.

I've tried many of the cleaning products now. I received the pack yesterday and went absolutely crazy cleaning the house! For those of you who don't know about the home conversion cleaning pack it comes with about a dozen or so cleaners and disinfectants, wipes, and a bunch of laundry supplies. It was a pretty big and heavy box. I have to say it was kind of fun opening it and seeing what everything was. Most of the things are concentrated so you have to dilute them and put them into spray bottles. They give you all the spray bottles already labeled, and pumps if needed. So that was kind of fun too, making all my new spray bottles.

Though upon closer examination today, I realize that the spray bottles are actually half the size of normal bottles you get in the store. So in terms of value, it isn't necessarily cheaper than buying stuff from the store.

I can see why the products and company can be so addictive and why people love them so much. First off, receiving a big box full of new products feels like Christmas! You feel like you are getting something fun and special. Also, if you aren't obsessive about reading labels and researching products to find out how green they are, you could be totally swayed into thinking that Melaleuca is amazing because all the stuff smells great, looks great, and works - and  best of all it's supposedly healthier for your home!!!

The key word here is "healthier". It doesn't say "healthy" or "non toxic" or harmless to the environment.  First of all, with environmentally friendly companies there is usually a lot more transparency in terms of listing all of the ingredients. Companies can use the word "natural" on their products and not have to back up the claim. It's just a word. Most of their products have fragrances in them, and they do not state what they consist of. Usually it's petroleum based, not particularly natural.

However, after all is said and done, the prices are not significantly more expensive and most of them are concentrated. So while a product might not be non toxic, it does gain points by being more environmentally friendly by using less water and plastic, as well as less gas to distribute the product. Particularly the laundry detergent and fabric softener. They both come in smallish containers and have 96 loads. The price is about $20. So realistically, that is very comparable to Tide, for example. Big difference being, that the smell of the Melaleuca one is nicer.

Anyway, so after cleaning my whole house (yes, I really went nuts trying everything!) these are my results.

Rustic Touch Furniture Polish: Amazing. Really. I have this table in the corner of my dining room that is often neglected for cleaning. It's solid wood, but old and second hand. We just use the whole thing to store junk really. Anyway, I took everything off of it and polished it with this stuff, and holy cow! It honestly brought the old thing back to life! I had only wiped it with water before, so I have nothing to compare it to, but it left a really nice glossy finish. It wasn't oily, and it smelled great! Very easy to use to, just a nice little spritzer bottle. So much better than using Pledge (I've used that crap at other peoples houses and I hate it).

Tough and Tender All Purpose Cleaner: I have actually used it before at someones house who is a member. As I clean houses for extra money now and again, I have used a lot of products. This product doesn't smell amazing in my opinion. It's clean smelling, but really nothing special. It works well, but not really better or worse than other things I've tried.

Tub and Tile: When I first used the stuff I was actually overwhelmed by the fragrance of it. I think I used quite a lot, and combined with all of the other products I'd used in the same area, it was all smelling very strongly. It did take a bit of getting used to the smell, it's kind of lemony and it does smell strong. However, it does work very well and after using the product a few times I grew to actually quite like the smell. In fact, several years later it's one of my favourite Melaleuca products.


Sol-U-Mel: It's a stain remover, cleaner and deodorizer. I used it on a chair (one of my cats had an accident on a chair).  I sprayed the chair, and wiped it with this stuff. It got everything fresh and clean again.

Melamagic: It's a heavy duty cleaner of industrial strength. I only used it to wash my floors. It did a great job in the kitchen. I used it for half the house on the parquet floors. However, later when I checked the label I noticed that it says it's not recommended for hard wood floors. Oops! Oh well, those parquet floors are already old and damaged (from the 70's). It seemed to clean them well anyway.

Clear Power: It's a glass cleaner. It worked well, no harsh smells. I first started using ammonia free cleaners a couple of years ago and I like this one the best.

No Work: It's a spray for your shower. You spray it after each shower and apparently it dissolves soap scum so you don't have to clean it as often. There's very little work involved, just spray it on and leave it. No rinsing or wiping. There are other products like it on the market, and I haven't ever tried any of them so I can't compare. I have been using it for two days so far and I have to say, it does seem to work. I gave the tiles a good scrub before hand so I would notice any new soap scum. So far there is none. **Update** While I did like the product, ultimately I'm lazy and did not like spraying so much after each shower. Plus the perfume smell was too strong just after a shower, so I stopped using it. But it is a good product.

Sol-U-Guard: It's a disinfectant. It smells like thyme and lemon. I like it. Though I am a bit torn, because I'm not sure if it's made of that anti-bacterial stuff which I am quite against. ***Update***While I did really like the product, I've started making my own gentle multi purpose cleaner for my kitchen counters (as a gentle daily clean).

Melapower (laundry detergent): This works well, and smells very nice too. Though I've never had a laundry detergent that I hated! Not sure how tough it is on stains though.

Melasoft (fabric softener): This is the nicest stuff I've ever used. It smells amazing, and makes things really soft. I've had complements on my blankets smelling so nice. I love it! ***update*** Three years later and I still use it! I love that it's so concentrated, you need so little to do a wonderful job! I've been using the same bottle for a year and a half and still have some left. I also have another bottle waiting unopened that I bought through a friend at the reduced price.

Melabrite: It's an optical brightener. I think it's supposed to be used instead of bleach (maybe?) but it did not seem to do anything to my clothes at all. Also, after doing research on optical brighteners I'm not so sure that adding those kind of chemicals to your clothes is necessary. Therefore, three years later I still have some left in the bottle!

There were many other products, I could spend days talking about all of them. The bottom line though is that some of the products are pretty good, overall I like the stuff. It's hard not to really. I don't like that they don't disclose a full ingredient list for things. Apparently in the U.S there isn't any law that says a company has to. Also, there aren't any strict laws that govern criteria for a company to call itself green. Therefore, I do believe that a lot of companies call themselves green and charge accordingly even though they aren't. I think that some companies are less green than others. Like that Comet stuff, gross green detergent powder to clean bathrooms. So disgusting. It only costs a dollar and the stuff will last ages. I do not think that stuff is good for the environment or a persons health, but they don't pretend to be green either. Something like Chlorox Green Works though, pretends to be green, has green in it's name, but is it really green? Well, it's colour is green so it isn't lying there. But is it just a play on words? It does not list it's ingredients and does not claim to be non toxic. Therefore, I would say it probably isn't really the safest product.

My favourite company is Method. I like their packaging, their prices are a little bit high but I really do like the products. They all smell amazing. Really. Every time I clean someones house they always comment on how nice everything smells. One of the all purpose cleaners smells like lavender. The glass cleaner smells like mint. The floor cleaner comes in almond scent or lemon. All very nice pleasant smells. They list all of their ingredients, and on each bottle it says that it's non toxic. A company can't just say that they are non toxic if they aren't. Melaleuca products do not claim to be non toxic.

What annoys me about Melaleuca is that you have to be a preferred customer to buy things at sane prices. Even then, the prices are still a bit on the expensive side but only slightly so. So you pay a little bit extra to get something you really like and then it's delivered to you (which means you are paying more for shipping). But at the regular prices it just feels like robbery. Take the furniture polish for example. That is a product that I would love to buy again. Regardless of how safe it is, it smells amazing and does a really good job. I've never seen a wood cleaner so easy to use that smells so nice. However, they charge $11.50 at the regular price, plus tax and shipping. So it comes to almost $15 for 237 ml! It costs $31.50 for 1.4 liters of laundry soap. Enough for 96 loads apparently. But after tax and shipping that is close to $40! I'm sorry, but I can buy the same thing for $20 at the health food store.

I cancelled my membership. I can still order things at the regular price, which I don't think I will as it's too expensive. I can sign up again at no cost within six months and become a preferred customer so I can buy things at the reduced rate and then I can cancel again with no hassles or charges. Though, let's face it, it IS a hassle to have to sign up and cancel (all the time and paperwork or phone calls involved) just to order some products!

As for the employment aspect of it all, I didn't try to make money. I don't think it's very easy to make a lot of money though. The person who signed me up has at least 10 people on her team that she has recruited via ads and facebook and the money she earns covers half of the cost of what she spends each month. That's a racket. I mean you have to be a preferred customer in order to recruit people and make money. Which means that you have to spend 35 points each month, which as I've mentioned works out to about $80 a month. Then you have to spend about 15 hours a week a month so that you can earn about $40 a month? What?

***Update***
Two and a half years later and I'm still using some of the products. I was lucky and managed to get my friend to order things for me so I got the preferred customer price on things.

Therefore I still use the fabric softener, laundry brightener (two and a half years later there is still some left!) furniture polish, glass cleaner, tub and tile cleaner, and I still have a couple of bottles of Melamagic - which because it is so concentrated lasts forever!

However, looking to the future I won't be able to order from my friend again as we don't live local to each other and therefore it is not convenient. So I will have to decide whether I will pay the full price for things.

Ultimately, I can use Method products for most of my cleaning needs. I also now make my own cleaning products that I know are environmentally friendly because all they have in them liquid castille soap, water, and some essential oils. They freshen up my kitchen nicely without the extra cost and chemicals.

Melaleuca - Is it a scam?

I've signed up as a preferred customer with Melaleuca. Initially I was just interested in trying out a couple of their products. A "friend" of mine has used their products for years and recently mentioned on Facebook that for only $1 you could take advantage of their products. I didn't know what any of it meant, and rather than just explain it to me she insisted that I go online with her in the morning and she'd explain everything. She told me that it would take 45 minutes. I wasn't interested in spending that much time, I just wanted to try some products that's it. She insisted the time would fly and so somehow I agreed. Next morning I got a phone call at 9:50 a.m. Apparently I needed to be online at 10 a.m for the presentation. There would be another woman who would do the presentation with her. Well, to make a long story short, the presentation lasted over an hour. I was still on the phone at 12 p.m and then they were calling Melaleuca so that I could place an order. As I was on the phone with the verification person I was told that I was knowingly agreeing to spend a minimum of 35 points per month as a preferred customer. I was like, what?!!! But dumb ass me didn't bother to ask questions I just said yes yes yes to everything and then questioned everything later.

So now later is here. I can't believe how I got sucked in to that!!! I'm so annoyed that I spent 3 hours with my friend and her co-worker on the phone and they never actually explained the fine print to me! It really wasn't at all clear what I was signing up for! 35 points per month actually works out to about $100 a month after tax and shipping!

How many personal care and cleaning products does a person need in a month? Worse even, I'm not sure that these products are worth so much money. They are crazy expensive. I did a lot of research into the company and now know the details. How it works is that it's like a pyramid scheme. They like to call it direct marketing, but it's more like multi level marketing. The prices are high so that you are forced to recruit people to join, then if people join they are roped into spending $100 a month where by you make about 5 bucks commission. So you'd need to have about 20 people recruited to get your products for free. It costs $4 for a bar of soap! Everything is supposed to be environmentally friendly and non toxic. However, after my research I fear that it's all just a big scam! That in fact, there are some natural ingredients in the products but that in fact the products are far from non toxic and are often almost as bad as what you get in the grocery store only 10 times more expensive!

So now I feel like a giant sucker. I have two orders that are on their way to my house, which will add $328 to the credit card. All for some body wash, cleaning products and cream for exzema. I already regret it and I haven't even received the packages! I am wondering if I should just cancel the whole thing and just return the package unopened. I just feel like what's the point? I'm really fussy about what kind of products I use for cleaning. I pay $5 a bottle for multi purpose cleaner, but it lists what ingredients are and it clearly says that it is non toxic on the bottle. Melaleuca products do not! They half hazardly list their ingredients but seem to be quite vague. They don't list everything in it, they don't have to by law. It's all just a big gimmick to make money off of suckers like me who think they are getting something natural, but due to crazy laws anybody can put "natural" on a product. It doesn't actually mean anything!

Anyway, I shall try the products and see how I like them and take it from there.

Never Let go - The Tragedy of Kristy Mcfarlane

I read this book about 20 years ago. It's the true story of a 14 year old girl from Toronto who became a prostitute and drug user.

It was a particularly tragic story because her mother tried very hard to get her off the streets, she spent a couple of years driving around looking for her daughter and trying to help her whenever she could.

For some reason I still think about this book, and what strikes me most is how does a seemingly normal suburban 14 year old girl end up becoming a prostitute?

I've often thought that prostitutes usually come from abusive backgrounds. But while that might often be the case, there is still a high percentage of normal kids from all different backgrounds who are simply attracted to the glamour and excitement that the city nightlife has to offer. In Kristy's case, we are not led to believe that this girl had suffered any kind of abuse.

Her mother claims to have found a diary written by her daughter that hints that her daughter was sexually active by the time she was 13. The only disfunctional aspect of Kristy's life is the fact that her parents divorced when she was a kid and that her mother re-married. Her mother claims that Kristy and the step-father got along great and that she loved him like he was her own father.

I don't actually remember what Kristy's relationship was like with her father. I don't know if she even had one, or if he was even alive by the time she was a teenager. The book really didn't go into a lot of detail over the reasons why she became a prostitute and a drug user.

They just say that she used to hang out in arcades in downtown Toronto and that she had a crush on a guy she used to see there. Apparently he used to smile at her and they kind of flirted. Then one day he started to talk to her and they spent a couple of hours together hanging out. She was supposed to be meeting a friend at the mall, but her friend was late and so she kept going back and forth between the arcade and the mall until eventually she gave up on her friend and just spent the rest of the day with the guy.

When it was time for her to go home, he pressured her into hanging out with him longer. He really put the moves on her and made her feel wanted and liked so she stayed longer. Then she tried to go home, and he was really pushy about staying with him. Eventually he suggested that she go out and turn some tricks for him. She apparently said no, and walked away. He followed her and pushed and pushed, until she finally said yes. She went and stood on some corner and got picked up and turned her first trick. Then she turned several more tricks throughout the night, until 3 a.m or something.

Then she got picked up by the police, who found a large box of condoms in her purse. After that, for the rest of the book she remains a prostitute, uses cocaine and then in the end dies of a heroin overdose in a stairwell of some building after she had supposedly gotten straight and stopped the prostitution.

I suppose at the end of the day it doesn't really matter why she became a prostitute. The story was quite interesting, learning about her mom who was so worried and upset about her. That she was crying so much for her daughter that she had to get a special cream for her face because the tears were irritating her skin. Throughout the story it was very evident that Kristy and her mom had a very strong relationship.

I just can't help but wonder what we are missing from the story. In the story of Kristy, I don't think that anything was exaggerated. There are probably many details that are missing, as there were many people who were involved in her life and I doubt that everyone who knew her came forward and provided details of exactly what happened to her. So there will always be a lot of mystery surrounding this tragic story.

Sadly, I no longer own this book, as I  lent my only copy to a relative and he apparently gave it away. I am especially saddened to find out that the book is no longer in print, so I fear I may never get a chance to read it again.