So this blog is just about random things I think about or my own observations on life.
Today I saw a girl I knew in high school. She didn't see me, but I knew it was her because she had a rather distinctive nose. She was all grown up, with a normal looking man with glasses and a young child. No one would look twice at them and think that there was anything strange about them. Except that I remember what she was like in high school.
I remember the week she started. There were rumours going around about narks joining our school, due to the large marijuana problem. She joined the alternative program and fit right in. She had lot's of peircings, wore dark black eyeliner that extended past her eyes in a swirvy line, wore mostly black clothes, and had those Doc Martin boots that go all the way up to the knees. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, tall, skinny. She fit right in with all the alternative/Rebel/Rocker/Druggies. She loved to roll big fatties and was a really cool gal. She went to all the cool parties and was really mellow. She wasn't a nark by the way. She was the real deal.
I didn't hang out with her too much, as I was more of a wannabe I guess. Didn't have confidence/looks/connections to be part of that world. But we were doing similar things and so our paths crossed a few times.
I ran into her at a rave a year or two after high school. She was totally baked on speed and ecstasy. She said she was living with a bunch of guys in Ottawa in some druggie house and that she was stoned all the time. She said that the buzz she was experiencing right then, was absolutely amazing. She actually shivered with delight.
I never saw her again. Until today.
It just makes me wonder, how people can change so much! To go from being a cool rocked out druggie in high school to like a soccer mom or something is just so foreign to me. It makes me feel really old, like everyone my age lives this normal life with kids. Not that I want any of that. But sometimes it just all feels wrong, that I'm at this stage of life. 32 years old, and still feel 20 mentally in a lot of ways. But what was normal and cool at 20 is so totally not normal and acceptable at my age.
Today I saw a girl I knew in high school. She didn't see me, but I knew it was her because she had a rather distinctive nose. She was all grown up, with a normal looking man with glasses and a young child. No one would look twice at them and think that there was anything strange about them. Except that I remember what she was like in high school.
I remember the week she started. There were rumours going around about narks joining our school, due to the large marijuana problem. She joined the alternative program and fit right in. She had lot's of peircings, wore dark black eyeliner that extended past her eyes in a swirvy line, wore mostly black clothes, and had those Doc Martin boots that go all the way up to the knees. She had blonde hair and blue eyes, tall, skinny. She fit right in with all the alternative/Rebel/Rocker/Druggies. She loved to roll big fatties and was a really cool gal. She went to all the cool parties and was really mellow. She wasn't a nark by the way. She was the real deal.
I didn't hang out with her too much, as I was more of a wannabe I guess. Didn't have confidence/looks/connections to be part of that world. But we were doing similar things and so our paths crossed a few times.
I ran into her at a rave a year or two after high school. She was totally baked on speed and ecstasy. She said she was living with a bunch of guys in Ottawa in some druggie house and that she was stoned all the time. She said that the buzz she was experiencing right then, was absolutely amazing. She actually shivered with delight.
I never saw her again. Until today.
It just makes me wonder, how people can change so much! To go from being a cool rocked out druggie in high school to like a soccer mom or something is just so foreign to me. It makes me feel really old, like everyone my age lives this normal life with kids. Not that I want any of that. But sometimes it just all feels wrong, that I'm at this stage of life. 32 years old, and still feel 20 mentally in a lot of ways. But what was normal and cool at 20 is so totally not normal and acceptable at my age.
No comments:
Post a Comment